In need of finding a good egg this Easter? Fret not! We've got you covered.
Eggs?
We're no fans of promoting consumerism more than you are, but then you probably live with family/kids/flat mates who all give or demand chocolate eggs and we're here to guide you through whatever dillema strikes you in your student life - if not in need to fill up this website with content... so hey ho.
10 - Freddo
Quality: not creamy but it tastes like chocolate fair enough. Size: small. Overall: 6/10
The Freddo Easter Egg seems small (like the eponymous frog itself), simple and maybe a bit cheap. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth. In terms of simpleness that is, because... suprise, suprise, this wonderful chocolate egg is filled with frogs. Chocolate frogs, of course, not real ones (otherwise it would rise straight to no. 1).
The Freddo Easter Egg was probably inspired by Fredo from The Godfather, who was assasinated by one of the henchmen of his own brother, Michael Corleone, who called for his death (speaking of a bad bromance). I don't know if this is factual, but it did happen on a boat whilst on a lake, and like the Cadbury frog Fredo also seemed quite chipper all up the way that fatal fishing trip - so I'd definately say there's a chance it might be.
Fredo, or Freddo... the likeness is uncandy
9 - Smartie
Quality: good enough. Size: proper and easter egg worthy. Overall: 6.5/10
From the start I'd like to say that Smartie Easter Eggs are absolutely underappreciated and underrated. I mean, they're colourful, they look cute and the name alone should fill anyone with joy.
Unlike the Freddo egg, the Smartie egg comes with smarties that sit in a paper tube outside the egg itself. The quality of the egg itself is reasonable. Not creamy, but it tastes like chocolate well enough. Besides that, it's of a good chocolate egg size. This is important, because shrinkflation has also hit the Easter Egg industry - as we might see further down in this top ten. All together, it's really nice for someone to receive this quality egg.
There's a thing or two to be said about smarties, like how there persists a fear that blue smarties can make your head spin (based on that ability it gets a good score). There are also rumours that giving this egg to a partner as a romantic seasonal gift can earn you a miserable night(s) on the couch. But there's no time to get into that as there are still 8 more eggs to go.
Sadly the receiver of this decent and heart warming seasonal gift disposed it before a picture could be taken
8 - Yorkie
Quality: fair but middling. Size: can't remember, probably okay. Overall: 6.8/10
No one coud argue with Yorkie Easter Eggs. They're as it says on the tin (or egg): just straightforward, right in the middle kind of chocolate treats. The quality is okay and is probably good value for money. Best of all it comes with a Yorkie bar, or... if you were initially after the yorkie bar comes with an egg.
Harry Enfield did a weird sketch about Yorkshiremen once in which he made copious references to eggs. In the video Enfield's stereotypical Yorkshireman is rude, sexist, stingy and unpleasant.
Not a nice representation of actual Yorkshire people. In fact, not only is it a false representation of Yorkshire people (Yorkshirians?), it's also a false representation of their love for chocolate eggs. Anyone who visited the historic county already knows that everyone in Yorkshire loves nothing more than easter eggs - as this one demonstrates. So put that in your pipe, Harry Enfield, and smoke it.
Best thing to come outside Yorkshire since the Brontë sisters
7 - Posh Mint
Quality: okay if you like mint. Size: good. Overall: 7/10
M&S Chocolate Eggs are pricy, boringly packaged, but great if you like mint. But then what is the point of mint chocolate? I mean, after eating chocolate you'll have to brush your teeth at some point to stop evil sugars infesting your fillings. And you do that with... mint! Mint tasting toothpaste to be precise. So why not cutting out the middle-man and just get yourself a normal chocolate egg after which you can brush your teeth. Because you don't need more mint in your life, do you?
Of course you do, because you're in a rush, want to save time, and so you cut out the other middle man: the toothbrush. Well, I'm not a dentist, but I don't think the plan is waterproof. But then, an overpriced M&S mint-chocolate egg will be greatly received by your partner provided they asked for one - and nights on that couch aren't that fun for your back, so the egg does the trick in the end (hence the inflated score). If you end up buying one in M&S, buy some lemon cross buns as well. They're pricy too, but tasty nontheless.
Also comes with a big bag of mini chocolates
6 - Rolo
Quality: nice and creamy Size: good. Overall: 7.5/10
Here we have a nice egg. Just like the Yorkie egg it comes with a tube of Rolos - which is always nice, because just like Yorkies I've never had a bad Rolo in my life and I've eaten plenty.
The egg itself is a step up from the ones above, in that from here on in the charts we're entering creamy egg terrotory. There's not really much more interesting to say about this Rolo product or Rolos in general other than that, academically, Rolo's origin has been heavily disputed.
But then I'm speaking, of course, about Rollo the Viking who, according to Wikipedia, was Count of Rouen and became the first ruler of Normandy, not an actual Rolo because a piece of chocolate ruling the north of France would be weird - even to the French. Though strangely the article doesn't say anything about whether he liked chocolate or not.
Maybe a sweet treat for vikings
5 - Areo
Quality: airy Size: good. Overall: 7.8/10
You, like most people, probably always wondered how an Oreo Easter Egg would taste. The strange but delightful combination of crunchy cookies and chocolate has delighted many over centuries. Combining two wiki articles, an AI search tells me that "Cookies and chocolate have distinct, yet intertwined origins. [The product] journeyed to Europe and became a popular ingredient in baked goods and desserts. The iconic chocolate chip cookie, a blend of both traditions, was invented by Ruth Wakefield in 1937." Well, excuse me for the pun, but that's pretty much a mouth full.
Anyhow, I couldn't find an Oreo easter egg, though apparently they do exist, so I bought an Areo one. Actually, I received one. But I never asked for an Oreo one in the first place and I'm not 5 years old so I'm not going to throw a fit this time, am I? Coming to the matter, the Areo is eggcellent. A solid 7.8 out of 10. Not just because the egg is great but it also comes with nice looking big bag of mini areos that are bubbly from the inside - like an actual areo.
That's the only thing I never really got about areos: why make them bubbly? If you want to make people think they're eating a light chocolate, why not just make the chocolates tiny. Also, the packaging pipes up the idea that the chocolates taste like Neapolitan Ice Cream.
Well, I've never tasted anything like that, nor has probably anyone in the egg collecting community so I've no idea what that's all about. In fact, by the time a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream reaches the shore of Scotland after a 1,600 mile journey it has probably melted. The same goes for piece of chocolate. Sounds all a bit like a scam to me.
Sorry, areo easter egg, but had I to fork out money for you myself I'd proba.bly got you to scooche down the list a place or two.
Tastes Neapolitan as long as you believe it
4 - Lindt
Quality: great Size: cheeky Overall: 8/10
Nothing to complain here. The egg is just as you would eggspect from the Swiss chocolate master. It has that Lindty taste, and of course, it comes with a small but sufficient batch of Lindt's pure, milk and white chocolates. I even shared this egg with someone called Lindtsay (even though she had her own £7.50 M&S mint-chocolate easter egg) because that's the kind of person I am.
This egg also receives bonus points for its inside packaging that deviates from the standard packaging found inside other eggs. You know, that white part of carton that holds the egg in place. It just looks better. The packaging of the smaller chocolates even looks chique.
A real step up from all eggs down the chart, though this egg won't be taking this list's top spot. Why? Well, also this easter we don't like to be scammed. This Lindt Egg tops the list when it comes to shrinkflation: the packaging is large, but the egg inside is rediculously small (which makes you an extra decent person if you were forced to share it with your loved one).
A bit embarrasing to eat a small egg, like the easter bunny thinks very little of you, but then there's the great cacao quality to make up for it. Fun fact: that bloke with the high chef's hat on the back of every Lindt chocolates box, you know, that picture of him holding up that whisk from which chocolate sauce slowly drips perfectly defying the laws of gravity to form a single chocolate ball - well, every single little Lindt chocolate bonbon is made that way. Hats off to the guy. No wonder it was so pricy.
Cheeky but good
3 - Imaginary Weetabix Chocolate Egg
Quality: unique Size: depending on your imagination Overall: 8.5/10
Remember that crunchiness we just spoke about in that part about the Oreo egg... uuhm Areo (nevermind)? Well, what's guaranteed to be more crunchy than biscuits is weetabix (before you smother the bars with milk). And you could have it for breakfast! I definitely would.
Think about it, if the mint-chocolate eaters can replace brushing their teeth with eating chocolate sweets (which they probably all do), than you also have the right to have a breakfast-based treat. In a way, the Weetabix Chocolate Egg tastes a bit like a fancy pain-au-chocolate - is what I tend to say when I give this invisible treat to my eldest each year.
Just because it doesn't exist, doesn't mean it shouldn't exist. Imagine it did, surely it would score at least an 8.5 out of 10.
(no picture this time, but just try to imagine it does)
2 - Imaginary Ikea Chocolate Egg
Quality: a lot Size: a bit like a wardrobe Overall: 9/10
Everything from the Ikea cafe is reasonably priced, Swedish, and fun to put together. And that's exactly what, thusfar, has been missing from this top 10 list: a constructable egg.
Alright, it does not yet exist, but I think you get the drift here. Admittedly, I don't want to pay for more than three eggs (the other 4 were gifts) for this review. Anyhow, the difference here with the previous entry is that a build-it-yourself Ikea Chocolate Egg could potentially become a real thing in the not so distance future: Ikea introduced a constructable bunny a few years ago making this imaginary chocolate egg only a matter of time.
1 - You: The Best Egg of All
Quality: unmatched Size: only you will know Overall: 10/10
Remember when I went on about that inside egg packaging holding up the egg inside the outer box. Anyhow, the reason why they're there is to give you the opportunity to pretend being an actual easter egg which I do most Easter breaks or just whenever I'm lonely. Don't believe me? Try it yourself.
Happy Easter!
